At what point do you need to tell yourself that the wait is over? I am one of those people who will wait forever even when it makes me feel the worst. If something seems worth it, I’ll do it. How long is too long though?
Maybe I over analyze things but I’ve been raised to trust my gut and never settle for less than I deserve. Every relationship I’ve had ended in failure, usually by the other party. Either they didn’t give enough, or wanted entirely too much. If it’s just not working… then it’s just not working.
I like him. A lot… So much it scares me a little because of my fear of heartbreak. I have a big heart that I wear on my sleeve, wide open for anyone to destroy. When I build walls around it, I feel like I am awkward and cold. I am not that way at all, but I am just afraid to let go and pour my heart out to him.
He makes me a better person. He makes me feel special. I enjoy his energy - when I am around him. Then there are those moments where my world feels completely empty and lonely for months. That has got to be one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced. I do not like it one bit and this is where I am at now in my head. How long should this waiting go on for if its only making me sink farther and farther into darkness.
I have passed up other opportunities and basically removed myself from social life. I work all day sometimes and come home to more work just to keep busy. I am not getting any younger.
So what am I to him? A potential future? Someone to pass the time? A flavor of the week? I know talking has its benefits but what if talking isn’t as easy as it should be?